10 April 2022

I am grateful to have the week behind me, it was a challenging, full week.  On Monday Phil was teaching at Pima so I handled the Monday craziness.  Jude had music class and especially enjoyed playing his very own kazoo.  We delivered eggs when we were done and then did our grocery shopping.  I do love Monday's because in the evening I usually don't have to take anyone anywhere or be anywhere myself.  When Phil got home from teaching we had dinner and then enjoyed Family Home Evening together.  I have been thinking a lot about how different our FHE was when the big kids were little and realized that we have been tailoring FHE to the older kids, but I don't want Jude to miss out.  So this week I assigned Helen to teach a "nursery" lesson for Jude before we had our regular lesson and then played "Tacocat Spelled Backward", which is a game we got for Christmas.  It was a nice evening.  Jude is even starting to fold his arms for prayer.

Phil was at the fire station on Tuesday so it was just the kiddos and me.  In the afternoon I took Felicity for her first voice lesson.  My lovely friend agreed to do voice lessons with Felicity who is wanting to audition for show choir in May.  She had a great time and thought it was very useful.  After that I ran her and Helen to the church for their weekday youth activities.  

Wednesday was busy too.  We have started working on the exterior of the house finally in preparation to finish painting it.  Last year, we got all the materials to paint the exterior of the house, but I wanted to do some repairs to the siding before we painted, and that's where things stalled.  Phil painted some of the house, excited to use the new paint sprayer, but it has remained partially painted ever since.  In January I solicited help with the exterior repairs and we finally got underway this week.  I am having them remove the shiplap type decorative siding under the windows in the front and I plan to add faux shutters instead.  We will also need to repair some cosmetic cracks, replace some warped facia, and re-caulk almost everything.  I'm grateful we're making progress and I hope we can get the exterior all painted before it gets too hot.   After school Phil took Arlo to piano lessons and then met me over at the church for our last Light of Christ rehearsal.  I then went to my Relief Society presidency meeting.  

Phil was back on duty on Thursday and I worked from home, as usual, and in the afternoon I finally finished the quilt that I started for Jude before he was born.  My sewing machine was still out from last week's quilt, so I added the binding, the only thing that was missing from the quilt.  I also made him a matching pillow case.

On Friday morning Phil went to the church with me bright and early to start decorating for the Light of Christ event.  We hung lights, placed art and there was still plenty more to do before I had to leave at 2 PM for my hair appointment in Tucson.  I appreciated a little me time at the salon.  Helen had an invite to a friend's house in the evening so she enjoyed spending time with her friends.

We were back at the church on Saturday morning after we finished up some chores at home.  We helped the rest of committee set up for the evenings event; by 1 o'clock I was satisfied that it was ready and we were done.  We came back home and got lunch and rested for a bit and then headed back to church at 3:30.  We had a pretty steady stream of people come through the building to admire the art, enjoy the kids' video, and sit in on the three musical performances.  It was lovely to see Phil's mom who stopped by on her way home to see us perform and even wrangled Jude for awhile!  Most of the choirs were excellent and the solo and ensembles were beautiful.  We had three opportunities to perform our brass quartet piece "Jesus Christ is Risen" and I don't think we had a perfect run through.  My stupid first valve stuck on two of the three performances, and of course it was when I had the melody.  The rest of the quartet was excellent and I think it went fairly well overall.  We got lots of comments on how nice it was to have brass instruments in the chapel.  We had plenty of refreshments and I think the event was well executed.  It took us a couple of hours to clean up; we had lots of help though.  I am SO GRATEFUL to my committee, and all their hard work.  I'm happy to have it behind me though!

As part of our display we had a room devoted to Christ's childhood and we interviewed several children and asked them questions about Jesus.  I volunteered Arlo and here are his responses which played at the event on Saturday:

My Sunday was not much more relaxing.  I was at the Tucson Stake center at 8AM for the Valencia ward's conference.  Our presidency attended their Sacrament meeting and then I had the opportunity to share my testimony and a short lesson in Relief Society.  Phil took the kids to our ward and we met back up at home around noon.  I was back in Tucson in the afternoon for the Single Adult ward's conference.  When I was done with the Single Adult ward's Relief Society I met Phil and the kids over at my parent's house for dinner.  My mom gave the kids their Easter baskets a little early and they were pretty excited about the treats.  

As part of the mini lesson I taught in Valencia ward's Relief Society on Sunday in regard to ministering and all the demands we have on our time I referenced this video by David A. Bednar about balance.  In it he talks about how there really is no such thing as balance and gives the example of an acrobat spinning several plates on sticks.  He can only spin one plate and then when one starts to wobble, the acrobat would spin that plate.  None of the plates are ever spinning all at the same speed, in fact often times we'll miss one and it will fall.  It was a prefect illustration for my week and very appropriate that I used it in my remarks to the sisters in that ward, because it reminded me that it was ok that I had no balance myself.  This week I spun the "church plate", the "Relief Society plate", and the "Light of Christ plate".  The "Heather is getting enough sleep plate" was wobbling as was the "mother plate".  The "laundry plate" was on the ground and the "clean house plate" had fallen off and rolled under a nearby table.  I'm trying to have grace with myself and hope I can pick those plates up and get them spinning again next week.

03 April 2022

 On Monday when I woke up, I was sick.  Really stinkin' sick.  I had a soar throat, fever, congestion.  It was terrible.  I took a COVID test and luckily it was negative.  I got up and got kids to school and then I tried to keep Jude occupied while I waited for Phil to get home from work.  While I was laying in the recliner trying not to die, Jude took advantage and pulled his pony over to the piano so he could climb up and play.  When Phil got home I took some meds and went back to bed and he took Jude to music class.  I heard that it was coincidentally an all "daddy and me" class.  Jude sure loves to go.  Phil also delivered my eggs and took the neighbors grocery shopping for me.  I literally slept all day.  I got up in the evening and we had dinner and did Family Home Evening.  The kids enjoyed playing "Cranium" as our activity and Phil was quite proud that his team (Felicity and he) beat my team (Arlo and Helen and I).

I was feeling a little better on Tuesday.  I am really enjoying my new work schedule and I was at work on Tuesday morning around 7 after everyone had left for work and school.  At some point in the morning Jude came waddling up to me chewing on a bulb of garlic slathered in shortening.  He needed a full-blown bath.  I sure love that boy.  The girls both had to be at mutual early for a presidency meeting.  Arlo and Jude hung out on the couch together enjoying goldfish crackers.

I'm grateful by Wednesday I was more functional and feeling a little better.  Phil was teaching at Pima, but only worked half a day and was home for lunch.  After I was done with work he helped me finish planting our garden.  We set it up in what used to be a dog kennel, hoping the fencing would keep the dogs out of it (I don't trust Chief).  In the evening I took Arlo to piano and after piano Phil and I went to the church building to practice for our brass quartet.  I'm praying that it goes well in a couple of weeks when we perform.  When I got home I pulled out the quilt I was commissioned to work on.  In December my friend Michelle asked me if I would be willing to make a t-shirt quilt for her aunt from tee shirts that were her cousin's who had passed away.  I agreed to, she brought me the tees, and then I didn't pull them out again to work on it.  I hate when I drag my feet, I've just been so busy.  I spent the rest of the evening cutting and adding interfacing to the tees.

On Thursday Phil was home and he helped me with Jude while I worked and in the afternoon I pulled out the quilt again and worked on it until it was time for Phil and I to leave for our date.  We started the evening with dinner at a place called HiFalutin Rapid Western Grill on Oracle.  I'd noticed it dozens of times on my way to the temple and made a mental note to try it sometime.  It wasn't great.  We spent $80 (including tax and tip) on rubbery shrimp (both in our appetizer and my dinner) and chicken pasta.  The Diet Cokes were not $7 each good.  We did however enjoy being together.  When we were done we drove to the temple where we had volunteered to help with the evening cleaning.  Phil and I ended up cleaning the boys and girls bathroom/locker room in the baptistry.  I spent a few hours sewing after we got home.

Friday was my day off and Phil was off too.  He occupied Jude for me while I feverishly worked on my quilt.  By noon I had the top completed and Phil helped me manage the bulk of it through my machine so I could get it quilted.  I had to call it quits around three so that I could hop in the shower and get ready to head into town.  When my friend gave me the tee shirts we didn't have a lot of time to catch up, we hadn't seen each other in a long time, so we decided when it was time for me to bring her the quilt we'd have lunch  Instead she arranged for a large group of us to have dinner together.  When I was a teenager, my first job was with the county working with kids over the summer at a summer day camp, the same one I had attended as a kid.  I worked for several summers at Little Town and then I was invited to work at the Kino rec center on Ajo. I ended up working there year round through college.  It was a great job where I learned a lot and I got to work with a lot of amazing people throughout the years.  Anyway, my friend Michelle, was one of those awesome people and she invited a lot of the women we'd worked with to have dinner.  I met them at Olive Garden on Friday afternoon for an early dinner.  It was so great to catch up in real life.  It had been at least fifteen years since I had seen most of them.  I had a great time and I hope we can do it again sometime.  I let Michelle know that I still had to put the binding on the quilt, so after I got home I got the binding finished and it was finally done! 

Saturday morning we enjoyed the first session of General Conference.  Jude was so cute, he's been doing a lot of mimicking and has been enjoying raising his hand during sustaining votes at church...the only problem is he's always thirty seconds behind so he consistently looks like he's objecting to the proposals.  Here's a video of him showing his objection:

After the first session Phil and I went into Tucson to drop off the finished quilt.  We enjoyed the rest of conference in the evening.

Phil worked on Sunday so we watched the second half of conference without him.  It was so good, I always love it.  In the evening I picked up the kids from their weekend visit.  They were supposed to be visiting their dad, but his ex-wife's parents picked them up and took them to his ex-wife's house and they spent the weekend with her and her family and didn't even see their dad.  Its frustrating.  I didn't know that he wasn't going to spend time with them and I really don't think I'm legally obligated to share parenting time of my kids with his ex-wife.  Ugh!  Felicity and I went to the church after dropping them off at home to participate in a dress rehearsal for the Light of Christ which is next week!  I'm praying it goes well.  I'm grateful that I'm finally feeling better and am hoping that now that I have the quilt off my agenda I can move on to the next thing...right after I clean the house and get caught back up on the laundry.  Life is beautiful.

27 March 2022

It was HARD to get up and get kids to seminary and school and function like normal people following our two weeks of spring break.  Jude and I went to music class on Monday and delivered eggs.  I'm enjoying not working on Mondays, it really gives me an opportunity to get caught up on chores and "have tos".

The regional science, SARSEF, was held over spring break and while Arlo's dad didn't take him, Arlo did win a prize.  He actually won a 1st place grand prize in the Plant and Animal Science category and he brought home a trophy, certificate, and a monetary prize on Monday.  He was very proud of himself, I'm sad he didn't get to accept it in person.  

On Tuesday after everyone got home from school the girls wanted to go into town with me, so Felicity drove us to Tractor Supply and then to pick up dinner.  She's getting better every time she drives.  I'm grateful that she's willing try, I've had her on and off the freeway several times.  I definitely don't think she's ready to drive on her own even though she'll be sixteen in a few weeks.  I just need to commit more time to letting her practice (and taking her into Tucson more often).  

Arlo had activity days on Tuesday evening and was excited to make home made root beer.  The girls also had activities, Tuesday is generally a pretty busy evening.

I did my weekly weigh in on Wednesday and I finally hit my fifty pounds!  Only fifty more to go.  Our Wednesday was super busy too.  Phil took Felicity out on a daddy daughter date.  They went to dinner and then to see Tootsie at Centennial Hall.  I hear they had a good time.   I ran Arlo to piano and then tried to make it to my presidency meeting, although I was half way there when I realized we moved it to a different location.  So I was late, then when I got there (late) realized I was at the wrong building, so I was REALLY late.  I swear I'm usually so much more on top of things!

By Thursday I could tell Jude wasn't feeling well.  He had a little bit of a fever and a snotty nose.  He went to be early, right around the time the missionaries came over to teach a lesson with Phil's friend and I headed out the door.  A couple weeks ago I was extended an opportunity to go to girls camp this summer and help in the kitchen so I attended a cook meeting which was fun.  I'm looking forward to going back to camp, its been several years!

On Friday Jude wasn't feeling much better and Felicity stayed home from school not feeling well either.  I hopped over to the elementary school for an awards ceremony in the afternoon.  Arlo got a ribbon for his math score on the AZ Merit exam.   

We got chores done on Saturday morning and then the girls went to a girls camp kickoff at the church building.  When they were done with camp kickoff we were invited over to the Pratt's for a barbeque with Millissa and the Sullivans.  We had such a great time visiting and spending time, Arlo especially enjoyed playing, he was pretty sad when it was time to leave and asked when he could go back again. 

Phil was at work at the fire station on Sunday and I took the kids to church with me.  This week Corona ward was having their ward conference which was convenient since that's my home ward.  It was nice that our whole presidency was able to attend and I got to teach the second half of the Relief Society lesson.  In the afternoon we had our Light of Christ committee meeting, it will probably be one of our last official meetings as the event is just around the corner!  I'm excited to see it all come together.  By the end of the meeting my annoying little cough I've had over the last couple of days, which I attributed to allergies, was turning out to be a full blown sick cough with fever and soar throat and I felt terrible, and pretty guilty about being at church all day.  I'm hoping I feel better in the morning, I have a lot to do in the coming week, top of the list is to finish the quilt I was commissioned to make.  While at work on Sunday Phil got to judge a chili cook off for the AZ 100 Club at the American Legion Post.  

I have thought a lot about the role and importance of having close platonic relationships in adulthood over the past few days. I haven't come to any sort of definitive answer about what I think about the topic.  I've been part of a friend group over the past few years where we've gotten together monthly or every other month.  I would consider these women my close friends.  I hadn't heard from anyone in the group since November and so in January I reached out to say hi and then again in February, this week I sent a message proposing that we could go out on Friday evening.  A couple of the gals met me in Tucson on Friday night for dinner and right away it seemed a little off, especially when the conversation made it apparent they had been in contact, but I didn't know what was going on recently in their lives.  To which I made a, mostly joking, comment, "you didn't start a new group without me did you!?" to which the answer was, yeah, they had.  I held it together through an awkward dinner and then broke down on the drive home.  I had a lot of feelings.  I was embarrassed that I had reached out saying I missed them and I was thinking about them, I felt stupid for setting up a dinner, I felt rejected, I was ashamed I didn't have the emotional intelligence to know that things weren't good anymore.  And here's where I eventually landed.  Its ok.  It really is ok.  We shouldn't have to be tied in relationships out of obligation.  If we find that our relationship with someone is not enriching for whatever reason anymore, its ok to "break up".  Isn't it?  Don't we need to have a way to move on from things when we've outgrown them?  There's just not a really easy way of doing that, right?  And its harder when that breakup isn't mutual (and you're on the uncomfortable side of the breakup).  So I'm ok with it now.   I've really been thinking about whether its even important to have close relationships with other women.  Or maybe to be more accurate, trying to understand why is it so hard to make and maintain close relationships with other women?   Is it me?  I don't know.  I have lots of casual friends and lots of good friends and a wonderful emotionally rich and intimate relationship with my spouse, do I need close relationships with other women in my life too?  I don't know.  When I got home my girls could tell I'd been crying and asked why and the explanation that came to me was "thirteen year old girls become forty year old women".  The same type of struggles we experience in our friend groups in junior high and high school seem to continue in adulthood as we try to figure out where we belong and how we fit in with other women.  I don't have the answers, but I'm content for now not knowing.

I'm praying that we all feel healthy in the coming week and that I can get everything done that I need to and that we have time to enjoy the last of the beautiful spring weather because I have a feeling it won't last long!