29 September 2013

 This week was a little rough, but we made it!  Arlo was very clingy this week, I think as a result of having his first weekend visit away from home.  On Monday when I went to pick him up from day care, the teacher wanted to change him before we left and he cried and reached for me and was very uncooperative.  It broke my heart, but he was better in a day or two.

On Tuesday, on the way out of the house to the bus stop, Felicity said that her throat hurt.  I told her it would be OK and that if it was still bothering her when she got to school she could always see the nurse.  I got a call at 8:00 from the school that she had a fever of 102 and needed to come home.  I felt so bad, I had no idea she was that ill.  I brought her home and she slept on the couch almost the whole day, while I worked from my home computer.  We did read together for an hour or so and finished up The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis.  I've been so elated that she has been excited about reading it, toward the end of the book, she begged me to keep reading after we had finished a chapter.  It’s actually one of my favorite stories from The Chronicles of Narnia with hints of the creation and the Savior’s loving mercy interwoven in the delightful fantasy.  She ended up staying on the couch all day, not feeling like eating anything at dinner, and then putting herself to bed at 7:00. 

I had planned to keep Felicity home one more day on Wednesday, but had not anticipated Helen being sick.   She didn’t have a fever, but she said her throat hurt so I kept all three kiddos home on Wednesday and worked from home.  They were quite a handful.  Arlo was bored and got into everything, Helen was, in my opinion, not actually sick, and Felicity was feeling better.  Bed time was a welcome friend at 7:30 when it finally came around!  I took the girls to the book fare at the primary school Thursday morning and allowed them each to pick out one book, they were really excited to scour the shelves for something to read.  Felicity knew exactly what she wanted and I helped Helen a little bit.  I was at work for a little while after dropping Arlo off at day care, before heading down town to file some paperwork.  I got my exercise for sure!  I parked at the top of the garage and took the stairs up and down.

The rest of the week went pretty smoothly.  We had game night on Friday and on Saturday the kiddos had me up early.  We did some chores around the house and got the grocery shopping done.  After lunch, we went to the Reid Park Zoo.  It was such a beautiful day and the weather was divine.  All the animals were out and about and I really enjoyed that the girls wanted to linger at each exhibit, really watching the animals.  We stopped by the splash pad for a little while on our way out.  The girls enjoyed it, Arlo hung out at my leg.  In the evening I went to the General Relief Society Broadcast and the kids got to have McDonald's with their dad.  When I got home it was movie night!  I popped the popcorn and we had cotton candy as our treat.  It was Helen's turn to pick the feature film, and so for the second movie night in a row, we watched My Little Pony: Equestria Girls. We cuddled, we danced and sang, we got all sticky blue with cotton candy, and had a great time.  I love creating memories with them.  Plan to have memorable experiences with your children, don't just hope they will happen here and there!

 My grandfather has had some tough challenges as he's tried to recover in the hospital.  He's made some further improvements and has been moved to a rehabilitation center.  We're all hoping and praying that he'll be better and strong enough to come home soon.

It was a nice and quiet Sabbath day.  We enjoyed church and then had dinner at Nana and Papa's house.  I'm ready to face another week, I hope everyone is enjoying the cooler temperatures and just loving life. I have a testimony of prayer.  I know that our Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers.  I know that things in my life the past few weeks, as I've navigated through the unfamiliar territory of single motherhood, have run smoothly and not seemed burdensome as I've been lifted up and buoyed by the prayers of my family and friends.  I am so grateful for all of you.

22 September 2013

 This was a busy week!  Let me start by saying that I am just feeling an enormous amount of peace and happiness in my life right now, I am so entirely blessed.  While our week was very busy, it was a good week.  There was no school on Monday for a teacher in-service, so the girls stayed the night on Sunday with Nana and Papa and enjoyed spending Monday playing the pool and spending time with them. 

My grandfather is still in the hospital and Sunday night I had the impression that he should receive a priesthood blessing.  I put it out of my mind, thinking that it would be awkward to ask my family if that would be OK.  Monday morning, I again had the impression, and decided that I needed to act upon it. I emailed my mom and she had a positive reaction so I arranged to meet with my friend Victor and another man from our ward at the hospital Monday night.  Grandpa received a blessing and by Tuesday morning, had started to wake up and interact with people.  Him being in the hospital has been especially hard on my grandma, who can’t drive.  On Tuesday night, I took dinner to her and the kids and I spent some time visiting.  I think she really appreciated it and I have decided that I need to make a concerted effort to spend more time with them.  Grandma commented that she would like me to bring the kids and dinner more often when Grandpa was home. 

We had an appointment with one of the sisters I visit teach and had a nice time on Wednesday evening.  Thursday was very busy, for me anyway.  I had an orthodontic appointment in the morning and they put my lower braces on and it only took about an hour.  In the evening, I had a court ordered parenting class to attend. I'm so grateful for friends who helped with watching the kiddos.  Friday I volunteered at the primary school for Helen's Teddy Bear Picnic.  Then Arlo and I went grocery shopping and did some other chores.  I had the girls' parent-teacher conferences in the afternoon.  Felicity is doing very well in second grade.  She had high scores in all subjects, so she's getting some challenge math sheets and third grade high frequency words.  Helen is adjusting to kindergarten well and is on target.  I'm so lucky to have such amazing little people in my life.  Both teacher's gave me a suggested list of websites for them to get extra practice.  I've felt guilty, because I haven't let them use the computer at home; I think because I was afraid of what they might be exposed to, but I've decided that they should be able to safely use the computer now and allowed them to play some word games in the afternoon and they really loved it.

The kids had their first weekend at Jeff's house and he came to get them about 5:30 on Friday evening.  They were so excited to go and see his new place.  I went to Red Lobster for dinner with Mom, I think she wanted to offer me a little distraction on my first night away from them.  It was great, I went and hung out at the Bryson's after I got home from dinner.  I got up early on Saturday morning and went for a 6 1/2 mile run and then got showered and dressed and headed to Mesa to spend some time at the temple.  I will admit that it was nice to be there and not feel rushed or feel obligated to hurry home.  I spent about four hours there before coming home and watching a movie before bed.  Sunday was a little hard, it was the annual Primary Program at church and my girls knew all the songs and their parts, but missed out on the opportunity to participate.  I sat by myself in a room of people and enjoyed the children of others.

I feel an immense sense of joy and happiness in my life and am grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who knows the beginning from end; who loves and is mindful of me.  I was also overwhelmed by the love and support I received last week.  I am immeasurably blessed with an amazing group of friends and family.

15 September 2013

I seriously debated over putting my blog on hiatus.  I didn't know if I should just stop all together, if I should start a new blog, or if I should continue.  As I thought about it, I flipped through what is now almost four years of weekly blog posts with dozens of pictures and happy and challenging memories.  I realized what I've been doing is writing our family story, one week, one blog entry at a time.  I could look back on the trials we had and how they were overcome.  I was able to watch my children grow in the photographs.  I'm not going to abandon such a wonderful gift to myself and my children.

I took Monday off to help Jeff move.  He wasn't able to find any other help, so he and I took two loads to Tucson and between the two of us got him moved .  I felt very blessed that the weather was so nice and we somehow managed to avoid the rain.  The children have really handled the change well and we had a fabulous week aside.  The girls are really enjoying school and I'm so proud of them and their attitude toward learning and their behavior.  One or both comes home with a coveted "Owl All Star" sticker everyday for some act of kindness or cooperation.  Arlo is enjoying daycare, he has a lovely teacher who really seems to care for him.  He's talking more, although he's already caught his "exposed to too many other kids" cold.  He's gotten so big so quickly it seems.  He's learned to open the refriderator on his own now and his favorite thing to sneak is katchup, ugh.

My grandfather very suddenly was having health problems early this week, and had to be admitted to the hospital.  He had a pacemaker placed mid week and the worry about him and his care has been on our minds.  He still hasn't woken up from his medically induced coma and continues to be on a ventilator.  He's now off of all the sedation medication and we are still waiting for him to wake up, which hasn't happened yet, so it was a stressful week for my mom and grandmother as well as myself.

The girls spent the night at Nana and Papa's on Friday night which left Arlo and I all day on Saturday to ourselves.  We were out and about by 7:30 and went to the store for some general household items, grocery shopping, and then to Best Buy in Tucson to pick up our new microwave.  After lunch he went down for a nap and I pulled weeds, trimmed the bushes in the front yard and mowed the grass in the back.  Victor helped me install the new microwave over the stove.  I felt very productive.  We managed to keep the house picked up all week, so I did a little general cleaning: dusting, vacuuming, sweeping before the girls got home.  Then we had movie night and Felicity picked My Little Pony Equestria Girls.  We had popcorn and cotton candy on blankets in the dark and it was a great time. 

I have felt so much peace and happiness.  I have also been so blessed by an incredible amount of love and support from friends and family.  I went visiting teaching this week and the message was on self-reliance and I felt so much satisfaction in knowing that I do what I can and have been prepared to be self-reliant, but more than the temporal aspect of self-reliance, I've strengthened my faith and testimony so that I am also, and most importantly, spiritually self reliant.  I appreciate all the kind words offered, private messages sent at perfect moments encouraging me and lifting my spirits, and heartfelt expressions of service.  Thank you so much to those that have reached out, I love you.  It is because of my spiritual and temporal self-reliance, and the amazing support system of friends and loved ones that I can honestly say I am happy and grateful to learn what it is that I need to learn through this trial with a hope for a bright and joyful future.

01 September 2013

This week was painful and sad.  There were a lot of tears, but also a lot of hugs and a lot of reassuring words.  I won’t go into details, as it isn’t appropriate, nor would I want to air grievances or malign,  Jeff and I are divorcing.  This decision was reached through hours on my knees, tear-soaked mornings in the temple, and finally the quiet assurance that it was best for our family. There is peace and forgiveness in my soul with the admittance that it cannot be fixed.  I would, for those so inclined, appreciate prayers on behalf of my children, and Jeff and I as well.  Regardless of the peace I feel about the situation, there is understandably a measure of grieving over the loss of so many unrealized hopes and dreams; that grieving takes place simultaneously with the complicated process of untangling two lives.  I’ve been promised my righteous desires, through my faithfulness.  An eternal family falls into that category and I have all the hope and faith in the world that that blessing won’t be denied me or the children.  I also know that through the atonement, Christ can change people.  The atonement is a beautiful thing, there to help us repent when we make a poor choice and there to heal us when we are hurt by the poor choices of others.  I know that I will weather this storm, for my foundation is firm and because of my steadfastness, my children will be steadied too.