29 June 2014

 I’m so tired.  That seems to be the way I start all of my daily journal entries these days.  There’s just so much to do and so little time.  I’ve been thinking a lot about priorities as I manage my day so as to not get caught up wasting time on things of little to no worth, while neglecting things that have the potential for great value.  Part of the exhaustion comes from having three little kids, just part of every mom’s agenda.  I’m just going to keep striving for balance!

 I’ve hit a plateau again with my health goals, although not in that ‘I’m doing all I should and seeing no results’, but  more in regards to ‘I’m not being very vigilant but am not progressing in either direction’.  As I’ve pondered on why this is, I think I’ve discovered that I’m not having time to exercise everyday, which means that I use eating as a way to manage daily stress, and when I do that, my food choices are usually less than healthy.  It’s gotten too hot to run in the middle of the day at work, and I can’t really do it in the evening or early morning because I can’t leave the kids.  I decided this week to get up 30 minutes earlier every day and do 10 minutes of yoga and 10 minutes on the treadmill.  20 minutes is sort of the bare minimum to check the box that I exercised and it really sets a positive tone for my day.  I also find that 10 minutes is about all I can stand on the treadmill before I get utterly bored.   I’m hoping this gets me going again, although as I look back on my progress I see that it’s pretty typical of me to flounder this time of year and then I really get motivated again when school starts and I tend to make great progress August-December.  At the very least I’m learning that I can maintain, and that will be important when I reach goal and need to go into maintenance mode.  This has certainly been a journey!

Monday we had a Family Home Evening lesson on obedience.  We had chocolate pudding for the treat and Helen picked Twister as the activity.  There was a lot of laughing and tumbling around.  The kids came visiting teaching with me on Tuesday and Wednesday after I got home from work.  I really enjoyed the message this month , The Divine Mission of Jesus Christ: Minister, and shared my thoughts about it.  I’m grateful to live in a ward that is very service oriented and which has taught me a lot about rendering Christ-like service to others.  I know that I’m blessed when I make an effort to serve others; it is certainly one of the things that has lightened my burdens.  The lesson also had me thinking about how grateful I am for visiting teaching and the sisters I get to associate with; I’ve had the same assignments for several years now and have loved getting to know them so well.

I had Friday off and the girls helped me clean house.  We also went grocery shopping and to Wal-Mart.  In the afternoon I took the kids for their biannual dentist appointment.  They love the dentist, which I find entertaining.  All three had their teeth cleaned and had fluoride treatments.  Arlo sat on my lap and had his teeth cleaned too.  He giggled every time she used the brush, it was hilarious!  No cavities and happy smiles.  After the dentist I took Arlo to a friend for a haircut.  He’s so stinking cute!   We also stopped by the Sahuarita School District Early Childhood Center (ECC) and filled out enrollment paperwork for Arlo. He can start in September when he’s 2 and 9 months.  I have to get him potty-trained before then and I’ll need to find something for him in August.  I also still need to find afterschool care for the girls, but at least I’ve got a good start on fall childcare.

 We had pizza for dinner and read together as a family afterward.  Helen has secretly been enjoying our latest book in the Narnia series; she sits quietly on the couch and listens while Felicity and I read.   I may have mentioned that I tried something new this book and Felicity had her own copy to read along with.  This also means that any time I have to stop for any reason (which happens from time to time seeing as Arlo does not want to sit and quietly listen) Felicity picks up where I left off and reads aloud.  We finished The Voyage of the Dawn Treader and there were tears had at the end as Lucy and Edmond were informed they would not be permitted to return to Narnia.  This was also exciting because it meant we would get to watch the movie for family movie night.

Saturday morning I had a couple extra kids as I had agreed to babysit.  The girls played nicely and I processed the several pounds of apples I bought a couple weeks before.  I peeled, cored, and sliced them on the back porch to minimize the mess and Felicity sat out with me for a little while to eat the curly peel strings as they came off the apples.  I ended up drying some into chips with the dehydrator that Dad gave me.  I put the peels and cores into the jelly still to get the juice out of them and cooked the rest down into apple sauce.  I made apple cinnamon jelly with some of the juice and put the rest of the juice in the refrigerator for drinking.  It took several hours, but it’s always satisfying to put the pretty, fruit-filled mason jars on the shelf in my food storage closet. 

I also did some auto work in the morning.  The rear driver-side window won’t go all the way up anymore, so I took the door apart to investigate.  It appears there’s a problem with the regulator and I’ll need to get a part.  I was proud of myself for getting it all apart (and put back together).  In the mean time, I created a temporary window to help keep out the heat and rain (if monsoon season ever comes).  I’ll probably try to finish the project up next weekend.  Arlo came out to help me!



In the evening we had family movie night with popcorn and candy and watched The Voyage of the Dawn Treader the girls were amazed at how fast-past the movie had to be to keep up with the book plot, but for the most part enjoyed it.  I loved to listen to them analyze the things that were missed or different.  We started The Silver Chair before bed, the second to last book in the series.  My goal is to finish the seven book series before school starts as we want to start Harry Potter in August.  In preparation for that, I’m making the girls and I bookmarks.  I was drawing a pattern for my bookmark and noticed that the craft table was shaking.  I placed my hand flat upon it and looked up expecting to see Arlo (who was in bed) jumping on it.  He wasn’t and I looked around for an explanation, saying to the girls “Why is the table shaking.”  I didn’t think too much of it because it stopped after a few seconds.  Come to find out, it was an earthquake!  Who would have thought?  

Arlo fell asleep in the buggy at Walmart

Sunday was quiet and restful.  Helen gave a talk in Primary about Family History.  She talked about her great grandma Helen and about how the temple connects us to each other and our ancestors.  She did a great job and I was really proud of her.  We enjoyed time together as a family in the evening.

22 June 2014

 I'm having a love/hate relationship with summer right now.  I am loving the fact that I don't feel rushed in the evenings because it really doesn't matter what time the kids go to bed or, to be honest, if they have a bath.  I love the smell of BBQ in the air and sunscreen and chlorine.  I hate that I have to be cooped up in a cubicle all day in a fridged, windowless office building, seriously I have to go outside to warm up!  I hate that I can't hang out with the kids during the day and read and swim and do crafts.  There's a time and season for everything and I'm just going to have to sit this summer out.

Our babysitter is really working out well and the kids are having a great summer.  I'm so grateful that she helps them with "homework" (to keep their brains from rotting) and does arts and crafts with them.  On Wednesdays, she's been taking them to the library.  I have to say that I have the best friends ever, the photos above of the kids at the library were taken by Cherie who happened to be there too and took some picture for me since I couldn't be there.  I have another friend who's giving them piano lessons this summer.  I can't be there, but I have lots of people around to love my kids and help them be included in some of the fun activities of summer.

On Monday, I surprised the girls with a special Family Home Evening activity.  We dropped Arlo off at Nana and Papa's and had a lesson about charity in the car on our way to Tucson.  We went to Skate Country on 22nd for $1 skate.  It was so much fun.  I used to go to Skate Country quite a bit as a kid.  My Nana took me there frequently and we went with summer day camp every summer.  I think I may even had had a suprise birthday party there in Jr. High (I'm going to have to find those photos!).  Felicity and I both had skates, so we paid $1 each for admission and then $3 for Helen's skate rental.  Felicity got right out there and after figuring out what direction she needed to go and what the assumed rules were she was off!  She's really improved a lot and had a great time.  I helped Helen practice on the carpet and in the beginners area.  She fell a lot, but was confident enough toward the end to skate on the big rink while holding my hand.  I was surprised that my body instantly remembered how to skate.  I fell twice, each of the girls tripped me, and of course it was on the side of the rink where everyone is sitting and watching.  My shins and palms are still bruised, but it was so much fun.  It was really crowded, so we might try and go the next time on the non-cheap night.

The garden is going strong and producing tomatoes and green beans daily.  I also harvested three 3-5 pound spaghetti squashes and broccoli this week.  It was so fun to tell the kids to go out and pick their vegetables for dinner!  We spent a lot of time in the pool in the evening (sometimes even in bathing suits) and reading.  We're almost done with The Voyage of the Dawn Treader and are hoping to finish by next Saturday so we can watch the movie for family movie night.  

The kids got to go to Aunt Beth and Uncle Richard's on Friday since I had to work.  I hear they had a great time and they got to go swimming.  I finished up work around 3:30 and drove to the Gilbert Temple.  I figured it would be time well spent and it wouldn't take up a whole Saturday.  It was a nice drive and I did a lot of thinking and reflecting.  I arrived in plenty of time and it was fairly busy.  I didn't realize that it was a popular date night destination for the local residents so there were lots of adorable young couples there.  Honestly, it was a little sad for me to be there all alone.  I shouldn't have that attitude, but sometimes you just can't help the way you feel.  I stopped for In N' Out (yum) on my way home.

Saturday morning I got up and went for a run at about 8am which was too late and hot to be running, but it felt good.  I then spent time cleaning out my chicken coop, weeding the garden, trimming the hedges in the front, and re-hanging my porch swing (it fell a few weeks ago).  I did my grocery shopping and cleaned the house.  I also had four bags of cherries that I pitted.  I left one bag for eating, I dried one bag, and with the other two canned cherry pie filling.  It was a lot of work and my fingernails are still slightly discolored from all the cherry handling.

 

Saturday night I went to pick up Arlo.  Since he's been having some separation anxiety on Monday's following visits with his dad, I decided that maybe a slightly shorter stay for him would be better, we'll just have to wait and see.  He and I had a lovely Sabbath morning.  When the girls got home in the afternoon we went to Nana and Papa's and had a nice visit.

After having felt a little down coming home from the temple this week, I watched one of my favorite conference addresses Come What May and Love It by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin.  It really helped me to feel loved and more positively.  I also happened upon an address from Elder David S. Baxter, Faith, Fortitude, Fulfillment: A Message to Single Parents and really enjoyed it.  I love that if I turn to the scriptures and to the words of living prophets and apostles I can feel the love of my Savior and find peace when I feel unrest.  I've been so blessed throughout my life and continue to enjoy blessings and tender mercies.  I'm so grateful for all that I.

15 June 2014: Father's Day

It was a nice week at Casa de Davidson.  Somehow the week goes by more happily and optimistically when I only have work four days.  We went to the park for FHE and tried to do something fun each evening.  We spent a lot of time in the backyard playing with the hose and splashing in the pool. 

Arlo had a really rough Monday.  The babysitter said he cried and had tantrums all day and then when I got home, he just wanted to be held.  I had planned on making tacos for dinner, but Arlo just wouldn’t let me, so I ordered a pizza and he and I sat on the couch and had our dinner together.  He didn’t leave my lap.  Eventually I put a movie on once it because apparent he wasn’t going to change his mind.  He found his way to my bed and slept no more than a few inches from me all night.  I feel so badly for him.  I’ve noticed, and our other babysitter and daycare people noticed, that he frequently has a bad Monday following a weekend away from home.   I don’t know if we should switch to just day time visits with his dad for awhile or what.  I know he enjoys going, but he has such a hard time readjusting.  I just want to make good choices for him, it’s frustrating.

During the week we made Father’s Day cards and a photo gift for the kids’ dad and for Papa; they enjoyed doing that.  We put handprints on the cards in paint, they really liked that part.  They picked out a photo album for their dad and filled it with pictures of him and them.  They also were excellent models and I got a cute photo of each of them to put in a frame for him.  The girl's also helped make cupcakes to take to Papa, Arlo served as the taste-tester!

Friday was my day off and we had tickets to go to the Harkin’s theater for their summer movie series at 9:30, but I just couldn’t find the tickets.  We looked all over the house.  Helen suggested I pray, so I kneeled down in the family room and prayed.  When I got up she asked “where did He tell you to look?” with just complete and utter certainty.  I told her I felt strongly that there was a reason that we couldn’t find them and we were suppose to go into Tucson and visit Grandpa Gene instead.  So that’s what we did.  We got dressed and called Nana to see if she wanted to go with us.  We went to Wal-Mart and picked up donuts and milk for breakfast and met Nana.  We drove to the care facility where he’s been living the past couple of months.

As a refresher, my grandfather went into the hospital last September because he’d been having problems with his blood pressure and had been passing out.  He had lots of tests and then had a pace maker installed.  He subsequently didn’t come out of sedation following the surgery and there were moments when we felt he wouldn’t survive.  He did eventually come out of sedation but was on a ventilator and feeding tube.  He went on to a rehabilitation center where it became apparent that he suffered some sort of brain injury as he wasn’t able to communicate or remember important things.  After he completed rehabilitation and was able to feed himself and get around on his own, they moved him to a memory care facility, and that’s where he is now.

We showed up around 11:30 and he was doing really well.  He knew us and enjoyed showing the kids his room and around the facility.  It is VERY nice, I made Felicity promise to put me in a place like that when I’m old!  He talked and joked and seemed his old self.  We had a really nice visit and I was in awe of how far he’s come.  There were times when we felt he would never be even a shadow of himself again.  He has bad days where he calls and wants someone to pick him up and bring him home.  There are days when he’s confused and calls and says someone has stolen his keys and he needs a ride home.  Luckily, he was quite content and happy when we visited.   On the way home, later in the day, Felicity said “Mom, Heavenly Father heard all our prayers for Grandpa Gene and helped him to get better.  He looks a little different, but he’s much better.”  I’m grateful for that.

After our visit, we went to Foothills mall and saw How to Train Your Dragon 2.   We had popcorn and Icee for lunch and enjoyed the movie a lot.  Arlo was very good.  I loved hearing him ohh and aww at the right times and get so excited about the different dragons.  When we got home, I went out back to water and there was a horrendous smell.  I pretty quickly tracked it to the coop where one of my hens had died.  I don’t know what happened, they had plenty of food and water and the door was locked, so it wasn’t a predator.  The others are fine, so I chalked it up to sometimes animals die.  Unfortunately, I should have spent the extra time to bury her, because I took the lazy way out and bagged her up and put her in the garbage.  The whole backyard stunk!  I finally drug the garbage can out to the curb…to share the wealth with the rest of the neighborhood.   I’m glad the garbage truck comes on Monday!

Saturday we worked in the yard.  I mowed and weeded, the kids picked up toys.  We cleaned up the house and did the laundry.  At lunch time we went grocery shopping and I treated the kids to McDonald’s since they had been such good helpers.  We finished up the house and played in the pool and had a great time.  For movie night Felicity picked G Force and we had popcorn and candy.  The girls wanted me to braid their hair so it would be “curly” for church.  It took the entire length of the movie, but I put little braids in both their hair and they got a kick out of that.

I found that for the most part, I felt as sad about Father’s Day as I did about Mother’s Day; that’s my failing.  I’m working on forgiving myself for past poor choices, accepting that there are things I can’t change now, and moving forward with faith and optimism that my children will be compensated for all the things I can’t give them now.  I know that my children’s Heavenly Father loves them more than even I do and wants the best for them.  The girls invited their dad to hear them sing in church for Father’s Day and we were pleasantly surprised that he came.  He showed up at the house before church and the kids gave him their gifts and cards and then we enjoyed Sacrament meeting and hearing them sing.  After church we went to Nana and Papa’s and enjoyed dinner and celebrating Father’s Day with them.

I’m grateful for my dad.  He led by example and I can attribute a lot of my positive character traits to things I saw him model daily.  We were joking that when it comes to parenting, nobody knows how to do it right necessarily, you do your best and when it’s all said and done and your kids are grown you can gage how well you did.  I think he did a pretty good job!  I’m grateful that he was good dad and an even better Papa.  My kids are lucky to have him!

08 June 2014

Another week in the books!  I am loving summer.  I adore that I can get up and not worry about getting kids dressed, fed, and out the door while trying to get myself ready.  I really like coming home and not feeling pressured to get dinner, chores, bathes, reading, and everything else that needs to happen before 7:00.  We’ve been spending time playing games, talking, watching movies, and reading book after book after book.  We added something new to our evening routine.  I thought since we sing every night before bed that I’d incorporate learning some new songs.  I’m going to pick a hymn each month and we’ll learn a verse per week.  This week we learned the first verse of one of my favorite hymns, “Joseph Smith's First Prayer”.  The kids picked up quickly and even Arlo chimes in with at least the last word in each phrase.

She was already in PJs

Monday night Felicity passed off her first Faith in God activity and she gave the Family Home Evening lesson on Joseph Smith's first vision.  She did a great job and used the scriptures, pictures, and a short movie.  We had ‘smores for the treat, but we had to do it the lame way, on the stove top.

We spent time in the pool and running in the sprinklers in the evening.  The garden has all sorts of great things in it right now.  We’re getting tomatoes, bell peppers, spaghetti squash, cantaloupe, and green beans every day.  The beets and carrots are almost ready to be harvested, and I clip the beet tops for salads and for the chickens to munch almost everyday.  I’ve finally found a good place for my gardenia.  I love gardenias, but they are very finicky, especially in Arizona.  My Nana had a huge one on her back porch that was just beautiful and the back yard always smelled like gardenias.  I adore that smell.  Mine is blooming just outside my sliding glass door, and my back porch smells divine.

The kids got to spend Friday with Nana and Papa while I was at work.  In the evening I went to Target and Old Navy and did some shopping.  It was relaxing to browse and try things on; I bought a pair of sandals and a couple of things from the clearance rack.  I had popcorn and a Diet Coke for dinner at the movie theater, I went to see Blended, which I thought was pretty cute.  It’s a little hard for me to spend a whole weekend alone.  I’m a people person; I talk incessantly, so I find that my internal dialog is going nonstop when I don’t have the kids with me and I may or may not talk to myself sometimes. 

I got up early on Saturday and went for a five mile run which was invigorating.  I finished up before it got too hot, although I think I need to get some different running pants because I’m getting a strange tan line from the Capri length ones I have now.  I did my general shopping and grocery shopping and then treated myself to a manicure/pedicure.  I spent the remainder of the day cleaning the house, pulling weeds, and spraying for bugs.  There are a few things that cause me a lot of anxiety, to the point of panic attack.  Evidently spraying chemicals in and around my house is one of those things.  I had been putting it off for a long time, spraying for bugs that is, but I had to take a deep breath and take care of it this weekend; I was glad to get it out of the way.

Sunday was quiet; I slept in, prepared my Sunday school lesson and enjoyed the morning.  I got to interpret during Sacrament meeting, I was pretty rusty!  I taught my Primary class and then interpreted for the last hour.  I’ve been in Primary for a long time now, most of the last six years minus a few months as the Relief Society chorister and a year of interpreting.  Sometimes I feel like if you show up every week and don’t make waves you get forgotten there, but I was reminded today that its where I’m needed; my portion of the kingdom to labor in, my sphere of influence.   I taught my class of eleven year olds and combined with the ten year old class this week since their teacher was out.  After class one of the girls said something to the effect that they always learn something new and that she hoped I’d still be teaching the eleven year olds next year so that I would be her teacher.  It made me feel grateful for my calling.  I’ll be happy to serve in Primary for as long as I’m needed.

I’m hoping to take the kids roller skating this week and to the movies.  I’m looking forward to a short work week and a lot of sunshine and happiness at home.

01 June 2014

Summer is here!  We survived our first week of summer vacation and it was great.  On Monday morning, the kids went to spend the day with their dad and I got to go into Tucson with some of my friends for a 5K color run.  It was a lot of fun!  Its the kind of race where no one is really racing and you get dowsed with colorfully dyed cornstarch.  I did run, and actually recorded my best time for a competitive 5K, I did 3.3 miles in 29 minutes, averaging 8 minutes 45 seconds per mile.  That's not bad, especially for someone who hated running and would have never believed a couple years ago I could run a mile without stopping, much less in 8 1/2 minutes.  The color thing was fun, although it got a little old toward the end when I was sweaty and gross from running.  The girl's asked if I won, and I could say Yes, I was first one in from our group.

Our new babysitter started on Tuesday and I think its going to be a good fit.  I left the kids with homework and piano practice.  They also did reading, played outside, had creative time with the play doh, and when I came home everyone was still in one piece and the house was clean!  On Wednesday she took them to story time at the library and they listened to a story, made a craft, got their summer reading program materials, and checked out some books.  I'm so glad they weren't stuck at home all day.

I drug the kids visiting teaching with me on Tuesday and Wednesday, and they were pretty good sports about it. My companion shared the talk I Have Given You an Example by Richard G. Scott as part of the lesson, and I really enjoyed hearing her insight.

The girls found out that Arlo has been sneaking into my room at night to sleep in my bed and wanted to know why they have been left out.  I let them stay up this week since they didn't have school and it gave me some extra time to spend with them, however, it meant that when I went to get into bed there were three little lumps under the covers.  So I relented and let them sleep with me once.  Never again.  It was the worst night of sleep!  The next night when they tried it, I said they could stay, but they had to sleep on the floor.  I've somehow become a huge pushover and I'm not sure how that happened!  They all camped out on the floor on one side of my bed and I was much happier about not being kicked in the face all night.

I ended up having to work 1/2 a day on Friday so the kids had a play date while I was gone. When I came home and picked them up I asked what they wanted to do.  I heard swimming, ice cream, color powder, craft, movie, pizza, and car wash.  So we stopped at WalMart and bought a pool and ice cream.  After we went swimming I let the kids take the unopened package of  blue corn starch from my run and throw it all over each other.  Then we came in and made the sun catcher kits that Jenn had sent home with the girls.  We had pizza upstairs for dinner and watched Herbie Fully Loaded (the girls have developed a liking for Lindsay Lohan Disney movies).  When we were done with that, we went grocery shopping and to the drive-through car wash.  I love that we got to do everything they wanted to do!

Saturday morning we had our girls camp kick off/certification day.  I was teaching the fire certifications and we had a great time.  I was happy that all of the fires we built lit and burned successfully and nobody got hurt and I didn't burn down Sahuarita.  The girls who were doing their outdoor cooking certifications even got to cook over our fire.  I was pretty tired after a morning in the sun, but Mom and I planned to have our mother's day celebratory nail salon trip and lunch.  I took the kids over to my parents and Mom and I went and had lunch and then she decided that she'd rather do the thrift than nails...OK!  We hit up a couple of the thrift stores in Tucson before heading home and having dinner.  The kids enjoyed hanging out with Papa and playing on their new play structure and swimming.  When we got home we had movie night, part 2.  Helen chose The Black Cauldron and we had candy and popcorn.

Sunday was nice.  We got to church early and the kids were very good during Sacrament meeting.  My Sunday school lesson went well, I think our two words of the day were eviscerated and pestilence.  They also learned the definitions for polytheism and monotheism.  I had a stake singles committee meeting after church at the stake center and the kids were less than cooperative, Arlo colored on the wall in the high council room with an Expo marker.  We had a "break the fast" pot luck after the meeting and I stayed so that I wouldn't have to make dinner when I got home.

I'm hoping that week two goes as smoothly as week one did for our babysitter and that we can avoid the heat as much as possible in the coming week.