19 January 2020

 We had a nice normal week at the ranch.  On Monday we had Family Home Evening together and had a lesson on goal setting and then set our personal and family goals for the week. When we were done we broke out one of our new games that we got for Christmas, Throw the Burrito.  We had so much stinkin’ fun throwing a burrito at each other! 

Arlo had his first weekday activity at church on Tuesday.  He had a great time, and while he was disappointed that he didn’t get to do scouts, he had fun.  It was a long Tuesday night, though.  He had his activity at 6:30 and then the girls had Youth Standard Night from 7:30-8:30.  The girls had to wait with me through Arlo’s activity and then Arlo had to sit in on Youth Standard Night.

Wednesday was a special day.  We let the girls stay home from school and we put Helen’s new limited use recommend to use.  Phil and I took the girls to the Tucson temple to do baptisms for the dead.  We had such a wonderful time.  When we were done in temple we went and had lunch together at Chili’s.  It was such a great morning.

I met with the Bishop again on Thursday to continue work on my sealing cancellation application.

I had the opportunity to walk with my friend Leona on Friday and we enjoyed the exercise, fresh air, and visiting.  I sure do love her.  

Arlo and Helen went to visit their dad on Friday evening and Phil and Felicity and I had dinner together and watched a movie in the evening.  Phil worked on Saturday so I got some things done around the house.  On Sunday we were able to go to church together and enjoy the Sabbath.

12 January 2020

 This week was full of great blessings.  On Monday I received an email that my application to the First Presidency for a sealing cancellation was initiated.  I took time this week to complete my portion of the application which included a written explanation for my divorce and a reason for wanting the cancellation. 

If you've wondered why I want to marry Phil, my response (in part) to why I was requesting the ability to be sealed in the temple to him does a fair job of summing that up:

"I am prayerfully requesting a cancellation of my sealing so that, pending permission from the First Presidency, I can be sealed in the temple to the loving, kind, and worthy priesthood holder who asked me to be his wife.  After nearly six years of being a single mom a friend from my time in the singles ward (more than 16 years ago), reached out to me online to reconnect.  He subsequently asked me on a date which resulted in more dates as we quickly became reacquainted and discovered a high degree of compatibility and fond affection.  Dating turned to courtship and culminated in his proposal of marriage.  In the weeks leading up to our engagement, we had been attending the temple together.  During that time in the temple I knew that my feelings for him were strong and I specifically sought confirmation that he was the eternal companion I had been praying for. I very firmly and resolutely received that confirmation which still brings feelings of warmth and comfort as I think of how often I pleaded with my Father in Heaven to bless my children and me with a loving and worthy priesthood holder over the past six years.  I have never in my life felt so loved and accepted, understood and safe.  As I consider my expectations for what an eternal marriage should look like I find that they are all met in this one person.  I know that together we will strive to live the gospel of Jesus Christ in our home, love and serve one another, our family, and those around us.  I know that he will help me rear our children in love and righteousness and teach them the way they should go.  His testimony of the gospel is firm and I have no reservations depending on him to be steadfast and immovable in his resolution to do that which is right.  I understand now what if feels like to be “equally yoked” striving and pulling together.  I love him and want nothing more than to covenant together with our Heavenly Father that our love story need never end.  Even though it would be easier to be married civilly and apply to be sealed at a later date, we recognize the importance and significance of making and keeping covenants together with the Lord and we also want to be a good example to my children....    My patriarchal blessing promises me that “[I] will be sealed in the Holy Temple of God to one of His choice sons…” I have held to that promise as I have raised children alone in the gospel.  Faithfully attending my meetings, fulfilling callings, serving in the temple, and teaching my children to choose right and to love and depend on their Savior.  I clung to that promise while sitting alone during difficult Sunday School lessons on celestial marriage, giving lessons on forever families in Young Womens and Primary, while acting as proxy for my ancestors, making and being reminded of covenants on their behalf.  The realization of that promise is of the utmost importance to me and to claim that blessing is the reason I am requesting a cancellation of my previous sealing."

We've had a hard time keeping kitties on the ranch.  The coyotes are thick since our property abuts wide open state land (which I love for a hundred other reasons) and they have no regard for fences.  I have finally accepted that keeping a mouser on the ranch is not practical, I've also come to the conclusion that while I can deal with a litter box from an inside cat, I can't have one that will claw the furniture.  So, I set out to find an adoptable kitty who is already fixed and declawed that can live in the house.  We were lucky to find Charlie on Craigslist.  I double checked with Phil that it was OK with him to get a cat for the kids and then we went to meet the little orange tabby and see if he'd be a match.   He supposedly was rescued in Puerto Rico and brought to the states for adoption following a hurricane.  His current owner was traveling a lot for work and didn't feel it was fair to leave him alone all the time.  We fell in love with him and brought him home with a litter box, litter, food, bedding, a carrier, and a ton of toys (he was a spoiled boy).  We kept him in the bathroom the first night so he wouldn't be scared and Felicity did her homework in the bathroom so she could be with Charlie.  It didn't take him long to warm up to her.

Tuesday was a our last compost pick up for awhile.  Since the slaughter, we don't have enough chickens to warrant selling eggs, so we knew we wouldn't be doing egg deliveries, but late last week I noticed our pig was getting fat...and not farm pig fat, but like fat, fat.  He was literally laying in his feed to eat and struggling to get around. So, I'm putting him on a diet.  I think what I didn't realize was that I was giving three adult pigs a 5gallon bucket of food scraps everyday and then when two went to bacon heaven, I was still giving a 5 gallon bucket of scraps a day to Bubba.  Anyway, I'll resume scrap collection when we get more pigs, but for now it will free up some of my Tuesday afternoon again.

By Wednesday morning we couldn't find Charlie.  Ugh!  I felt like I couldn't even keep an indoor cat alive for a week!  We looked everywhere and couldn't find him, I had to admit to myself that he may have gotten out an open door and disappeared.

Arlo had his baptism interview on Wednesday evening with a member of our ward's bishopric. The purpose of the interview was to give Arlo an opportunity to demonstrate that he understood what baptism was and declare that being baptized was his desire.  I love the opportunity to sit in these interviews with my children, even though I strive to teach them gospel principles, it isn't until I get to hear them explain the things they know and have learned to someone else that I feel like the things we live and teach have actually gotten through to them.  Arlo's understanding and responses were beautiful, well articulated, and genuinely thought out.  I was a proud mama.  Following Arlo's interview Helen had her first limited use temple recommend interview.  Because of recent changes to the youth programs Helen is eligible to go to the temple now because she will turn twelve this year.  She was able to get her recommend and again, it was great to listen to her interview and hear her sweet testimony and her excitement for serving in the temple.

The kids are enjoying having the horses at the ranch.  We tied them up, the horses that is, in one of the pens adjacent to the pig and let them mow down the weeds.  The kids have done a great job of feeding, watering, brushing, and cleaning up after the horses; we'll see how long that willingness to care for them lasts!  I worked on Friday and when I got home I got to work on preparing for Arlo's baptism.  I was expecting quite a few family and friends at the ranch for a luncheon after the baptism so I cleaned the house and worked on making cupcakes, decorating, general cleaning, and making some pasta salad.  Phil picked up Eegee's drinks and sandwiches in the evening and I set up everything for hosting a fancy soda bar.  I bought some soda syrups and some add-ins and printed a menu.

Friday night I was up by myself preparing for the baptism when I came around the corner and quite literally jumped and screamed.  Standing very non-nonchalantly in the dining room was the little orange tabby cat that had been missing since Monday night.  The one I told Felicity had gotten out and was gone.  I of course scared him as much as he scared me and he darted into the kitchen and behind the freezer where, he had apparently been hiding by day.  He came back out after an hour or so and I picked him up and put him in bed with Felicity who was very happy to see him. 

We headed to the Rincon Stake Center in Tucson for the baptism on Saturday morning.  Arlo was excited.  We had so many family and friends come to see Arlo be baptized and to celebrate with us: grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins along with some of his soon-to-be Comaduran family.  Arlo's grandma Kathy got to play the piano for the service and Phil baptized Arlo while Felicity and Helen got to serve as witnesses.  There were three other eight year olds from our ward being baptized as well.  We shared opening exercises, each child got to go back to the font with their family individually for the baptismal ordinance, and then we did the talks and the confirmations together in the chapel.  I got to give the talk on the Gift of the Holy Ghost (I'm 3 for 3 in giving that talk!), it went well.  The blessing Arlo received following his confirmation promised him guidance and direction from the Holy Ghost, the opportunity to increase his love for his Savior and others as he serves throughout his life and the blessing of receiving the priesthood and serving a mission.  Arlo was such a good boy and really seemed to take the whole experience in.  I hope he remembers the special feelings he had on Saturday for the rest his life.

We neglected to take any family pictures after the baptism, which I regret.  In fact, I didn't really take many pictures at all!   We had everyone over to the ranch for lunch and visiting after the baptism and I was so happy that so many people took the time to come all the way out.  It was a great time, and I was so glad that we were all able to come together and have a good time in celebration of Arlo's choice; there were certainly some fun conversations floating around as everyone tried to figure out how people were related.  Things like I'm Arlo's dad's cousin/wife/brother/sister in law, I'm Heather's fiance's mother/step brother/sister/sister in law, etc.!  I'm grateful that we could be together and Arlo could see all the people that love and support him.  I'm also grateful to Felicity who gave up her opportunity to participate in honor band this year which was the same day as her brother's baptism.

Our sabbath was lovely this week.  Phil was able to come to church with us and we all drove together from the house to the chapel. Before leaving, Phil reminded Arlo to put his shoes on and get in the car, but alas, we pulled up to church and Arlo didn't want to get out of the car because he didn't have shoes on.  This is a very ADHD behavior.  He got distracted by whatever in his mind was more important and didn't even notice he didn't have shoes on.  We decided that he would just have to live with the consequences and marched him into church in his sock-clad feet; which, by the way were on inside out and mismatched.  He spent most of Sacrament meeting with his feet tucked behind Phil's legs!  We enjoyed a quiet afternoon relaxing and preparing for the coming week; my heart and my home were full.

05 January 2020

Welcome 2020!  I am excited for what you have to bring the Davidson/Comaduran family this year.  I kicked off the new year with a massive de-clutter and deep clean.  I try to do this once a year and this year's will be important as after this spring Phil will be coming to live at the ranch and we'll need to combine two households of stuff.  We've been working on cleaning and de-cluttering Phil's house for weeks now, so its been nice to focus on my own for a bit. 

This week marked my ten year anniversary with Raytheon Missile Systems.  I never could have imagined that I'd end up doing engineering work for a  DOD contractor, and certainly not for ten years, but here I am.  I'm grateful for the opportunities that it has afforded me over the years and mostly I'm grateful I've been able to provide well for my family in that time.

 We got the kids all home on Tuesday from visiting their dad, and started a "staycation" in Benson.  We needed to be able to continue to work on Phil's house, but not have the kids feel like they spent their entire winter vacation doing projects to get the Benson house ready to sell.  Tuesday afternoon we drove down to Tombstone and played tourist.  We watched a reenactment of the shoot out at the OK Coral, and we wandered town, went into the shops, and enjoyed ice cream on Allen Street.  The kids' favorite part was a diorama/video presentation on the history of Tombstone.  We had a pretty good evening and brought a pizza back to Phil's house where the kids settled in for a movie while he and I worked on boxing things up and moving some things around in the garage.

 On Wednesday we drove down to Bisbee and took the Queen Mine tour.  We had a blast.  The kids really liked riding the train into the mine and mom may or may not have been the "volunteer from the audience" to demonstrate the mine toilet.  It was a lot of fun and we enjoyed our time together.  It's been great watching our family dynamic change and figure itself out.  Phil is just such a wonderful person to jump in with both feet with the understanding that our relationship comes with three children, two of whom are pubescent teenage girls!  After getting home from Bisbee we cooked dinner together and the kids worked on a puzzle while the grown ups continued work on the house.

 Phil had gotten tickets to take a tour of Kartchner Caverns on Thursday morning.  I was looking forward to our tour as I had never been to the caverns before.  I was a little apprehensive about how stressful it would be when they went over the rules knowing that Arlo touches EVERYTHING and that there would be no touching in the cave.  However, he did a great job and was super well behaved.  The cavern was very impressive and we really enjoyed our tour.

We spent Thursday after our cave tour moving Phil's horses out to Two Jack Ranch.  We first moved over half of their panels, setting those up at the ranch under the shade structure next to the barn, then the horses, and then the rest of the panels.  It was quite the chore!  We created nice little stalls for them and a good-sized arena.  This way the kids and I can feed and care for them regularly;  Phil was having to pay someone to feed them when he was at work, rarely got to spend quality time with them, and always had to be back in Benson in time to feed them in the evening.  They sure do look pretty in the yard and the kids are enamored, Helen vowing to feed and clean pens everyday...we shall see!

I was extremely irritated when we came home on Friday to find that Helen had left the bottom latch of the chicken coop unlatched and Phil's dog had gotten into the coop and killed ten of my twelve chickens.  It made my heart just sick.  She didn't even eat them, just killed them for the fun of it.  When I started to think of the amount of money lost I was so disappointed.  The birds were $8 each and then I fed them for probably six before before they started laying; then you take into consideration all the eggs I would have gotten before they became too old (also taking into consideration that I had regular egg customers who pay for eggs weekly) and the cost of buying new pullets and feeding them, etc.  Needless to say, I had a very firm and frank conversation with Helen about being more responsible, discussing how I expected her to pay for a portion of the loss, and letting her know that she had to help me clean up all the corpses.  I hope at the very least an important lesson was learned.

Felicity had an orthodontist check up at the end of the week and everything still looks great.  We are waiting on her twelve year molars to come in to fit her for a new retainer, but they still haven't surfaced, so we will wait another six months or so and reassess.  Phil was able to meet with his Bishop this week to start his half of our sealing application, it feels good to have some things in motion towards being able to be married, hopefully this spring.

29 December 2019 Engagement

What an incredible week!  We all started our Christmas break on Monday and we kicked it off by taking Grandma Lo out for lunch for her 93rd birthday.  She chose Longhorn Steakhouse, it was great!

I worked feverishly on finishing my Christmas baking.  I love giving cookie plates for Christmas, but it is a lot of work and this year I just ran out of time...I don't know why I would have been distracted!  I very literally delivered cookie plates on Christmas Eve.  We were lucky that Phil was home on Christmas Eve.  We spent the evening with my parents and enjoyed some delicious food, great company, and a good time.  The kids of course were well spoiled, as was Phil and I. 

Phil came over early on Christmas morning and enjoyed opening gifts with the kids.  I was excited to give him the custom leather gun sling I had made for him, as well as his new PJs.  I got a new pair of shoes that I love! 
The kids were really happy with their gifts and after everything was open Phil helped Arlo set up his new ant farm.  That boy loves insects so I thought I was really clever to get him an ant farm.  The kids went to visit with their dad around 10 am and Phil and I enjoyed some time alone, we watched a movie and eventually cleaned up the Christmas wrappings.

Phil had made a reservation for us to have dinner at the Tanque Verde Guest Ranch Christmas evening.  It was a cowboy cook out which was really nice.  We had brisket and ribs and all the fixin's.  They had a fire pit set up and it was quite pleasant.  After dinner we went for a walk, there was a lake on the map and Phil wanted to go out to the lake.  Now I'm not going to lie, I had a pretty good idea what Phil had planned, so I was excited to follow him into the dark...until we got lost!  Eventually we found the lake, but it wasn't lit at all and it was really dark out, so we walked around the lake, but we didn't really stop.  We continued to stroll around the ranch, enjoying the lovely evening and each other's company, although I will admit I was getting a little antsy!  We eventually found ourselves behind the ranch in a pretty grassy area with a gazebo at the back of the grass.  We wandered over to the gazebo which looked out in to the rocky wash, luckily it had lighting so we could actually see each other.  In a very Hallmark Channel moment, Phil told me how happy he was and how much he loved me (I think his words were actually "I'm so crazy about you") and said he'd be honored if I would be his wife.  He even got down on one knee and pulled out a ring box with the most beautiful diamond wedding set.  Let me just say I am one lucky girl.  It only took us like sixteen years to figure out we belonged together, but we found each other again and now we don't ever have to be apart again.  We practically floated back to the parking lot, but not before trying to take a picture…in the near dark.  I love him.  My life is astronomically different today than it was six months ago, and it’s a beautiful thing. Life really does change on a dime sometimes, and for that I am grateful. 

Felicity came home after a couple of days of visiting her dad and on Saturday she left with Phil and me to visit with some of his family in Payson.   I was working on a crocheted hat that I had for our gift exchange with his siblings.  I very literally finished it on the way to Payson, we even stopped at a Joann’s in Casa Grande so I could buy a pom pom, that's just how behind I was this year!  I had a lovely time meeting new members of Phil's family, everyone was so wonderful and welcoming.  They all seem so happy for us.  Felicity just joined right in with the other kids and didn't seem to feel overly awkward about it.  They seemed to really enjoy playing in the snow, until they got cold! 

On Sunday, I met with my bishop after church and let him know that I was engaged to be married and asked him to start the process of applying for a sealing cancellation.  Because the kids' dad and I was sealed in the temple, I need to apply to the First Presidency of the church to have that sealing cancelled in order to be sealed to Phil in the temple.  Let's back that conversation up a minute.  We believe that marriages solemnized in holy temples can last not only for this life, but are efficacious in the life to come and that they seal families together.  We also believe that sealing ordinances are part of a series of ordinances (like for instance baptism) required for exaltation. When my marriage ended the civil part of that marriage was dissolved, but the sealing portion stayed in place since we believe it is a saving ordinance; it kept the kids sealed to me and I knew that I could apply to cancel it once I found someone else to be sealed to.  The president of the church has the authority to dissolve a marriage ecclesiastically, but that requires a pretty in-depth application and we wanted to get that started as soon as possible. 

The bishop seemed to be very happy for me and was willing to look into starting the process.  I don't like uncertainty, but we may be at the very beginning of a long process without a known timeline; however, being married at the right place with the right authority is worth it to us. 

22 December 2019

I am in the full swing of the holidays.  This week found me crocheting hats, sewing PJs and using my new craft toy to make t-shirts to go with the PJs.  I also had plenty of holiday baking to work on, especially as I was feeling hopelessly behind.  On Monday we had Family Home Evening and the kids helped me with some of the baking as our activity.

We also had the opportunity to doggy-sit for our dear friends the Massey’s.  Helen was so excited to have Annie at our house again.  On Tuesday, Felicity had her last regular season soccer game.  It was a great season to close out her middle school soccer experience.   

Felicity was invited to play with the “A Team” for the district championship on Wednesday and she actually got quite a bit of playing time and even a shot at the goal.  I was disappointed with myself,  I didn’t show up until after half time reasoning that she was just a spare on the bench in case someone got injured, so I missed her shot and some other good plays.  The girls won both their games and won the district championship.  It was such a great experience for Felicity, she was proud she got to play on the A team and share in their victory. 

Our home teachers came over for a visit on Thursday evening, we always love having them.  In the evening I worked on two crocheted hats that I wanted to complete.  One was a Wonder Woman hat I was commissioned to make and the other was a Captain Marvel hat for Helen.  I may get everything done before Christmas after all!

I wasn’t able to complete all of my baking before Friday morning, but not from lack of effort.  I sent a plate of cookies with Arlo for his teacher anyway, I think it had enough stuff on it.  The kids had a ½ day for their last day of the year.  I was off and worked on my Christmas gifts into the evening.  I was making PJs for everyone and hats and them some things for my family.  We had an outing planned for Saturday that we were all looking forward to.  Usually I take the kids to the Phoenix area in December to be able to enjoy the temple lights at the Mesa temple.  We usually make a day of it and go to the zoo and Organ Stop Pizza, this year we decided to stay in town since the Mesa temple is closed while it undergoes major renovations.  We started the day off by going to the International Wildlife Museum.  Phil had never been and he treated us.  It was a lot of fun.  They had some new exhibits and the kids enjoyed some new see and touch animals.  We spent a few hours enjoying the museum.  When we were done we went to Red Robin for dinner and had a great time.  After dinner we drove into town and went to Winterhaven. 

I haven’t done a walk-through tour of Winterhaven in a long time.  The last time we tried to walk through Arlo was in a stroller and they cries of “my feet hurt” “I’m tired” “can we go now” started almost immediately.  I braced myself for the same, but was pleasantly surprised that the kids had a great time and really enjoyed themselves.  We walked through the neighborhood enjoying the lights for a couple of hours.  It was a great time and I will definitely considering doing it again next year.  I will say that we will probably try to go later in the evening as the crowds thinned considerably after 8pm.

Our Sabbath was quiet.  Phil was working the last shift of his tour, which was great because it meant that he’ll be off the 23-26 so we’ll have Christmas Eve and Christmas day to spend with him. You can tell at this point, we pretty much spend any time we’re not working together and that makes me happy.  I couldn’t ask for more than the joy it is to have someone seamlessly come into our lives and enrich it in so many ways.  I am blessed beyond what I could have anticipated.  In the evening, Felicity helped me finish up the Christmas cookies, the decorated cut out cookies being the last to work on.  I stayed up late getting them all plated and wrapped.  It was an undertaking, but they were beautiful when I was done.  Last year I picked up some large charger plates on sale at Target and I used my cutting machine to decorate them, they turned out really cute, and that’s what I used this year.  I think they were nice.

 

15 December 2019

 What a great December week we had.  Monday was Arlo’s 8^th birthday.  I can’t believe he is already eight.  The South Stake does their stake baptisms the second Saturday of the month, so he should have been baptized on December 14^th, but since I was anticipating doing it in January I wasn’t prepared at all. I asked the Primary Presidency to move him to the January date, so I bought myself a little more time.  Arlo is definitely the baby, he’s not nearly as mature or self-directed as the girls were at his age, but he is developing into a good young man and I’m proud of him.

Helen had her last cheer activity on Monday.  She cheered at the basketball games and I got there to catch the half time routine.  Helen had been feeling very self-conscience about not knowing the dance routine well enough, but I think she did a great job.  You could tell she was not confident, checking around her to make sure she was in sync with the other girls.  I don’t know if she’ll continue cheer next quarter, but either way I think it was a good experience. 

Tuesday was busy as usual.  We picked up compost and dropped off eggs and skipped our Tuesday youth church activities to celebrate Arlo’s birthday.  Since Phil was working on Monday we moved our festivities to Tuesday.  We went out to dinner and then had cake and ice-cream at home where Arlo was able to open his birthday gifts from us: a kite and some LEGOS.  He seemed pretty happy with them.

 Felicity had a soccer game on Wednesday, so I found myself back at the middle school.  I had to juggle being at her game and getting Arlo to his piano lesson on time.  She had quite a bit of playing time and enjoyed herself.

I came home early from work on Thursday to prepare for our annual Gingerbread Family Home Evening event.   My mom found some gingerbread kits for me this year that were very inexpensive, but it meant they weren’t pre-assembled, so I spent some time in the afternoon assembling houses and setting up for our activity.  In the evening we had a few families over to have a Christmas FHE lesson, decorate gingerbread houses, and do some caroling.  

We had such a nice time.  I think the kids had fun with their friends.  The caroling is my favorite part and I was so grateful for my lovely friend Emily playing for us; basically sight-reading on the spot.  It was a great evening!

I spoiled myself a little on Saturday and got a mani-pedi and had my friend Jodell do eyelash extensions for me.  I surprisingly really like them, they’re not heavy and I love being able to leave the house without makeup on and not look homeless.  I was also able to finish sewing the vest and bow time that I was making for Arlo’s baptism.  They turned out really cute!

We were all home on Sunday and were able to go to church together.  I love getting to go to church with a partner again, not that my kids are little and I need help, but it’s just nice to have someone on the bench with me again.   In the afternoon, we had a friend take pictures of Arlo for his baptism announcements.  He was great and the photo shoot didn’t take too long at all and I hope that we got some really good pictures of him.