30 November 2014

It was such a great week.  I felt so excited to have the whole week off and had a reasonable to-do list to accomplish.  Monday I kept Arlo home from school so he and I could hang out.  I missed the opportunity to ever stay home with him like I did with Felicity, and to some extent Helen (I can't believe I've been supporting my family full time for almost five years now).  We went grocery shopping and did some chores and shopping.  We had lunch together and did some baking before picking up the sisters from piano.  We had homemade lasagna for dinner which was met with great praise.  It felt so good to serve my family a home cooked meal that didn't come out of a box or from a drive-thru.  Our family home evening lesson was based on the Fifth Article of Faith and was basically a lesson on how the Priesthood blesses our lives.  We watched Fantasia as our activity. 

Tuesday morning I dropped the kiddos off at school and drove to Phoenix to attend the temple.  I was excited for a day in the middle of the week to go and also mark off another temple on my growing list of LDS Temples in the United States to serve in.  It was fairly busy, but also very peaceful.  I was grateful for the time of reflection and self-assessment.  An added bonus was I got to listen to The Christmas List by Richard Paul Evans on my way there and back.  I have such a hard time finding time to read, so audio books really help me utilize my driving time more effectively.  I stopped at In N' Out for lunch on my way home before picking up the kids from school.  We had a great evening with homework, piano practice, reading, and playing. 

I went out with my mom on Wednesday for breakfast and shopping, we had a nice day, but ran out of time before accomplishing all we wanted to do.  I picked the kids up from school and we went home and got ready to go into Tucson for Holiday portraits.  I wasn't really pleased with how they turned out, so I was glad I didn't pay much for them.  It did however; mark off my last photo shoot required before the big club membership payoff with my next session, so that is good.  Needless to say, I'll be taking my own holiday photos for our Christmas cards this year.

 We had a nice and quiet Thanksgiving on Thursday.  I was taking a few things over to dinner with my parents that I had to make before we left the house.  I made two pies, mashed potatoes, and dinner rolls.  My grandma came this year, which was great because she hasn't come the past few holidays.  It was so nice to see her and spend time with her.  We had such a relaxed and enjoyable day.  We stayed quite a while and went home full and happy and grateful.  I'm so very grateful for Thanksgiving, an opportunity our communities have to reflect on how blessed we are.  I'm grateful that it ushers in the holiday season when everyone seems to be a little nicer and a little more Christ-like; and the world needs more of that!   Friday, I had some chores, including pulling out the winter clothes and packing up the things that are too small for the kids.  That's always a chore with a lot of washing and drying and folding/hanging involved.  I also helped our friend's daughter make a birthday cake, which as usual for cakes, took the better part of the afternoon.  We did get to then go to the park with them to visit and have cake and the kids had a great time.

Saturday my dad watched the kids so that my mom and I could go out to lunch, have our nails done, and do some shopping for my mother's birthday.  It was fabulous.  The kids and I had movie night in the evening and I picked A Christmas Story.  They had never seen it, and although the language was a little more crude than I remember, we really enjoyed it.  It was so wonderful to have my kids with me at church today.  Due to visits with their dad falling in between stake conference, the temple dedication, and general conference, they hadn't been to church in nearly 8 weeks!  I ended up interpreting, but just knowing they were there with me made it so much better.  We had dinner at home and finished out our evening with some reading before bed. 

It will be hard to get up and go back to work after 9 glorious days of spending time doing the things I love most with the people I love most, but I am grateful for my job, and after all, I'll be back on Christmas break for several days starting in just a couple of weeks.  I think I can manage!  

23 November 2014

This week was a blur.  A blur.  I put in 18 hours over and above my 40 to use towards taking all of next week off.  I was at my desk from 7-5 every day and did a couple hours from home each night.  Did I also mention that I took myself back off of caffeine?  Yeah, it was a fun week.

For Family Home Evening on Monday we had our lesson on the fourth Article of Faith and our activity was watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban because Felicity took her AR Test for it (and got a 95% and 16.4 points).  We'll see if we end up watching any of the remaining movies and we'll have to see how the fourth book goes, the series starts to get more dark and scary from here out.  The kids were a little nervous about the scene at the end when Lupin turns into a werewolf.  The kids really did love it, though.  Arlo has taken to casting spells at us from the dinner table with his fork, how cute is that?

We had activity days on Wednesday, and since our combined activity got cancelled sort of last minute I scrambled to put something together.  Then as it turned out, it looked like only one of my girls showed up, so we combined with the other class to then have all the girls eventually show up.  It was a little cramped, but a lot of fun.  I was so happy when Friday rolled around and I left work knowing I had 9 days of freedom before I had to go back!  The kids ended up going to their dad's Friday night, so I enjoyed a couple of movies and Christmas gift crafting.  Saturday I slept in and then went running, I ran errands and baked banana bread.  I also did my Thanksgiving grocery shopping.  I ended up pulling up 1/3 of my garden and weeding and raking.  I haven't had the time or drive to plant a winter garden, and honestly, probably won't.  Right now I have my rose garden and all my potted plants and then a section with watermelon (still going strong) and zucchini.  I imagine the colder weather will kill off the watermelon shortly and then I'll clean that area of the garden too.

Sunday was quiet and peaceful. I substituted in Helen's primary class, it was too bad that the two times I've subbed in there, she hasn't been there.  I picked the kids up in the evening and as it turned out Arlo didn't want to leave.  That was hard on this mama.  We both had some tears, but in the end I realized that it's a great thing that he has such a good time on his weekend visits.  Loving his dad and wanting to be there and have fun has nothing to do with me.  He was a little upset for the rest of the evening and just wanted to cuddle until he fell asleep.  As big as he is, he's still my baby.  I have big plans for the coming week, mostly just doing the things that would love to do every day.  I'm going to make dinner every night, and with real ingredients.  I'm going to walk to the bus stop in sweat pants.  Arlo and I are going to play and clean and shop together.  I'm going to crochet and back and sew.  I'm hoping to get to the temple this coming week too! 

16 November 2014

Oh darn!  I've waited too long to sit and write this weeks post.  Let's remember what we did...

Monday my parent's took us out for dinner for my birthday, Red Lobster, my favorite!  The kids were really excited, especially Felicity who has acquired my love for shrimp.  Arlo and Helen got a kick out of the tank in the lobby with the live lobsters.  Arlo kept saying in a high pitched voice "Don't eat me!"  When I asked what he was saying he said, "Mom the crabs (his assumption about what was in the tank) are saying [in aforementioned high voice] Don't eat me!"  To which I said, "They're lobsters, Arlo."  His retort "The monsters are saying Don't eat me!"  We had a great time!  I'm so thankful for all my parent do for us, I don't know what I would do without them.  I got a lovely card and some birthday money to spend on myself.  I still don't know what I'm going to do with it, but I'm sure I'll figure out something.

Tuesday was Veteran's Day and the kids got to spend the day with Nana and Papa while I worked, I heard they had a great time.  In the evening we had Family Home Evening and talked about temples.  During the lesson Helen informed us all that she would be getting married in the San Diego temple, Felicity had to voice her desire as well, she decided on the Gilbert Arizona temple.  Arlo really loved the pictures we looked at and this short video presentation on the importance of temples.  On Wednesday evening we went to the church so Felicity and I could get our recommends for the Phoenix Temple dedication.  Felicity was so excited to get her very own recommend!  I felt so privileged to sit in on her interview and hear her sweet testimony of the sacredness of the temple and listen as she put into her own words the things that I've taught her, that her father taught her, that her dear Primary teachers and leaders have taught her, and the things she's learned through experience.  I'm so very proud of Felicity, she is a very special girl and a choice daughter of our Heavenly Father.

On Friday, I had the day off and decided to keep Arlo home from school so he and I could spend time together.  I was SO glad I did, we had an amazing day!  We dropped the sisters off at school and then he and I went to breakfast together.  We had such a great time.  We went home and did some cleaning up and Arlo helped me with laundry.  We went grocery shopping and Arlo sat in the basket part of the grocery buggy and categorized everything I put in.  We made two pans of lasagna when we got home and then picked up the girls from school.   We went into town to watch Big Hero 6 at the theater for our movie night.  Nana came with us and we had a wonderful time.  Arlo really enjoyed the movie and the girls loved it too, it was really cute.  It's been quoted all week.

Saturday morning we went to the chapel to help clean for the temple dedication.  There didn't seem to be much organization around the clean up, so I took the kids outside and we picked up trash and straightened up the landscaping in front of the building.  We had chores at home and when we were done, Felicity wanted to read, so she and I lied in bed for an hour and a half reading.  We finished Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and she really enjoyed it, and I really enjoyed reading it again.  I told her that if she passed the AR test for it on Monday we would watch the movie for FHE.

Sunday morning, Felicity and I got dressed for the temple dedication and dropped Arlo and Helen off at Nana and Papa's.  We arrived at the chapel early and she waited so patience for it to start.  I looked over at one point and she had tears streaming down her face.  I hope they were happy tears.  I know that when we had the family home evening lesson on the temple and eternal families were mentioned, they were sad tears.  The dedication was beautiful and I was so happy to be there with Felicity and so many others that I love.  I'm so grateful to have yet another beautiful temple on the earth, and will be excited to mark it off my growing list in a few weeks!  We ended up spending the rest of the day at my parent's house and enjoyed visiting with them.

Next week is going to be hectic!  I'm going to be trying to put in some extra hours so I can have the week of Thanksgiving off.  It'll mean for some long nights, but getting more than a week off will be so worth it!

09 November 2014

It was a good week!  I’m really enjoying the more “fall-like” weather; in that I can leave the door open at night and not have to run the A/C.  I do, however, still seem stuck in a caffeine cycle.  I have a soda in the morning because I’m tired, then I’m not sleepy when bed time rolls around so I stay up too late, making me sleepy in the morning, necessitating a soda.  Oh, well!  At least I was able to get a jump start on my Christmas gift crafting and made a few other things.  I ended up making a baby quilt for a friend, turning an old pair of jeans into a new skirt, and sewing five pairs of PJs this week.

We had Activity Days on Wednesday and Felicity’s group learned about the Sacrament and made bread to be used for Sunday’s Sacrament meeting.  She got a real kick out of that.  My group talked about compassionate service and fellowshipping and made cards.  Helen made cards with us, Arlo played with blocks in the corner.  I have had a couple offers of babysitting for Arlo and Helen while I teach Activity Days, but seeing as we don’t get home until 5:30 and we have to be at the church at 6, if I didn’t take them with me, I wouldn’t see them all day because it’s bed time by the time we get home when it's over.

Thursday I went to a Relief Society activity and had dinner with friends.  The kids enjoyed playing and especially enjoyed getting to eat left-over pie before heading home.  Since the kids were going to their dad’s this weekend, we had movie night on Friday night instead.  We picked up Pizza and watched Harry Potter (again).  After pizza we had brownies and ice cream, it was a huge hit.

I went for a run Saturday morning after the kids left and then did my usual weekend chores.  The garden is winding down now that its starting to get colder so I cleared out some of the plots and let the chickens scratch through them (they really enjoyed that)  I  also found time for sewing in the evening.  It was a long Sunday with church and then a meeting after.  I didn’t get to pick up the kids until 6:40 and it was after 7 when we got home and I finally got to have dinner.  It was a restful day, though, and I enjoy that.  Sunday was also my birthday, it was rather uneventful.  Without the kids at home and seeing as it was Sunday, there wasn’t really any celebrating.  I did enjoy the many birthday wishes I got at church and on Facebook.

This week marked one year since my divorce.  We’ve established new routines and a new home dynamic.  Helen and Arlo don’t remember what it was like to have their dad live with them.  I’m so happy that the kids have adjusted well, although I know that will always be a fluid thing that will require work and patience on my part.  It was a relatively smooth year, and I’m grateful for that.  As happy (or maybe relieved) as I was when the marriage ended I did end up going through a round of grieving about five months in.  As surprising and difficult as that was, I can see how I’ve grown and improved from having that experience.  I’m a people person, so it is hard to be alone so much; especially weekends when I don’t have my kids.  Don’t tell anyone, but I occasionally talk to myself just to be able to hear conversation. People have made comments about how nice it must be to be able to [insert chore/activity] without kids, but in reality I miss them a lot when they are gone and hate that they have to go.  My friends and family have been so supportive and wonderful, and I’m grateful for that.  It has been scary and awkward being single in terms of how I fit into the church structure.  I’m too old to be a young single adult and wouldn't fit in with kids, I don’t feel like I belong in the mid single scene, and some people don’t know how to relate to me in the family ward.  I’ve had a few unintentionally unkind and ignorant things said to me, but that’s  life isn’t it? (good thing I’m not perfect either).  I have a lot of hope for the future, but am focusing on making this time in my life happy and productive with goals that don't involve my relationship status.  I’m grateful for the perspective I’ve gained and the new opportunities that I’ll have. 

02 November 2014: Halloween

I was kind of a grouch this week.  I can attribute that to a few things.  One, I think I was still tired from last week's late nights.  The late nights meant I went back to drinking soda again (sigh) which meant I had a harder time going to bed on time this week (seems like a vicious cycle).  I also threw caution to the wind and kind of devoured whatever I wanted this week and only got in one run.  It's amazing how closely linked our physical well-being and emotional well-being are.  The other thing that had me on edge was the disarray of the house; because I was so concerned with costumes last week I didn't get the house as clean as I normally do over the weekend, which spilled into this week.  Luckily, next week is a new week with new opportunities for getting things moving in the right direction again!

 Somehow I doubt people like to read about the mundane things we did during the week.  Assume we had Family Home Evening, cleaned, did yard work, did laundry, and went grocery shopping.  Assume I ran at some point and that work is going well and assume that the kids had awesome moments.  

 Here are the things that were a little less ordinary:  On Thursday we went into Tucson to get photos done.  My Picture People membership expires in January, and so I needed to get some done this month so that I'll be able to cash in on all my freebies before the expiration. I told the kids that if I got some good photos they could take some in their costumes.  I got great photos and cute ones of them in their Halloween costumes.  We had ice cream as a treat before coming home.  My freebie this time around was a free framed 8x10 and two 5x7s.  I also used my free sheet to get some of the Halloween prints.  It also happened that when I went to pick them up on Saturday (because their printer was down) they hadn't printed my sheets, so she gave me two more free sheets for my time.  I got a frame, an 8x10, four 5x7s, and ten 4x6s (all different poses) for $0.00.  Yes, I think that's the way to "buy" studio photos.

 We made a trip to the mall to see The Book of Life with Nana this week and enjoyed getting to go to the movies and eat popcorn.  We also had dinner at their house which included pie, yum!

 Halloween was a lot of fun.  The kids went to school in their costumes and came home with a lot of candy, then we went to the ward Trunk-or-Treat and they got even more candy.  Felicity and Helen went back out door to door with the neighbors when we got home (while I handed out their Trunk-or-Treat candy).  I pretty much said, eat as much candy as you want between now and Sunday morning, because that's when I'm throwing the leftovers away.  I think they had a lot of fun.

 Saturday amidst the normal things we had to do, we took time to go to the park.  Felicity and Helen skated, Arlo rode his little scooter.  We had a pretty good time, and the weather was beautiful.  Arlo and I also took time in the afternoon to play catch in the backyard, he's pretty good at it too, for a two year old!

 I couldn't decide how I wanted to end my blog this evening; this paragraph had a few revisions.  I struggle between being real and genuine (weaknesses and all), and the pressure of being a stalwart example.  Tonight I feel sad.  Life isn't fair.  Boy, haven't we all heard that and felt it at times in our lives.  While I think I understand why life isn't fair, it doesn't make it easier.  I just have to trust that one day I'll look back on nights like tonight and say to the me sitting in this chair "keep going, it's going to be alright, don't you worry, it all works out and it’s marvelous when it does".  Tonight I turned to the talk Continue in Patience for perspective.